mrveitch

The following post is now about 3 weeks removed from when this actually happened…. I’m not very good at this.

I’m in Deyang alone for a week.That means a week of introspection, writing and overeating. I’ve learned how to find comfort in my own company. It became necessary when just being outside became overwhelming.

I am sick of the spectacle. Every time
I leave my house all eyes are on me, and that is the least of my worries. When a man followed me down an dark alley shouting “boy” and “my boss wants to talk to you” I thought some gang was out to get me. When I turned to confront him, ready to defend myself, a group of 3 men started snapping photos and asking me where I was from…. 

I have literally locked myself away at home for days at a time with a couple hundred kuai worth of cookies and Tudou (video streaming website).

Is that what depression is? Probably. But I think those breaks were good for me. A lot of volunteers scramble to leave their site, to be around other volunteers at other sites.

I’ve adopted a very different deal with life abroad.

I put myself out there 100% for a couple weeks at a time (at my own site) and take a couple days to recharge. This probably isn’t good for your mental health…But I have learned so much about myself and where I’m headed. I wouldn’t change a thing. Except maybe do some lesson planning…

Can’t say I’m looking forward to the mass of people during IST. But hey, it’s all part of the job