I just found the journals I kept from my other trips to China,  first in the Summer of 2011 and again in the Spring of 2012. What I paid attention to then, 

My feelings and perceptions of China and its people  are constantly growing, but theirs of me are exactly the same as they were 3+ years ago. 

because it doesn’t matter how long I live in China or how good my Chinese is.

I will never be Chinese

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