mrveitch

In my post on “Race” I touched briefly on being treated like a human being. Today I aim to clarify and expand upon what that means. This past weekend provided me with an excellent experience to meet that end.

There are plenty of individuals out here who treat me with respect and like a fellow human being. The young woman next to me, with the yellow scarf is one of them. The struggle has been finding that same feeling of belonging within a larger group. Often when a person I meet introduces me to their friends, despite their good intentions, I find myself sitting on the sidelines wishing I wasn’t there. Groups try to adapt to include me, despite my objections, quickly lose patience, and default to their original assumption: he doesn’t understand. Often it takes just on miscommunication for their patience to wear thin (what usually happens is that I don’t hear the person or I zone out, not that I don’t understand. It is hard keeping up with several people speaking fast in a language foreign to yourself.) Still, it is understandable- no one goes to a bar or KTV to do “work”. I just play candy crush and wait for the night to end. I run with their assumptions and pretend to be unable to understand anything. No one ever questions this even or asks how I’ve managed to communicate with their friend (who doesn’t speak any English at all).

While it is certainly not the same, it’s similar to being disabled. Everyone tries to cater to you and adapt to suit you. 

This past weekend, I found a group that made me feel like I was one of them. Signs that this was a good group:

1. No one threw a party when they saw that I can use chopsticks 

2. No one threw a party when they realized I speak Chinese

3. No doubt about my being American

4. Having real conversations with me throughout our 2 day hike. 

It really was a lovely experience. I don’t know why this group is so different from the majority that I’ve met, but they have reinvigorated me and restored my faith in China. What they on my birthday cemeted in my mind that they are great.

(Unfinished but I edited so many times… If I don’t post never will)